Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling Too hot that morning anyway.

I went to breakfast knowing my wife Would be pleasant and say  Happy Birthday ,

And would probably have a present for me.

She didn’t even say  Good Morning , Let alone any ? Happy Birthday.

I thought,  Well, that’s wives for you. Maybe the children will remember .

The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet , said,  Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.

So I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday,

let’s go to lunch, just you and me. I said,  By George, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.

We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go;

We went out into the country to a little private place.

We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, You know, it’s such a beautiful day.

We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?

I said,  No, I guess not. She said, Let’s go to my apartment.

After arriving at her apartment she said,  Boss, if you don’t mind,

I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.

?Sure, I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and,

In about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake,

Followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends.

All were singing Happy Birthday And there on the couch I sat… Naked.

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